Why You Don't Humor the Crazys
by alicat54
Summary: Ichigo was just trying to enjoy his misery in the ruins of his home, when that crazy girl offered to send him back in time. bleach time travel.
1. Chapter 1

+_+_+_+_+-----

the sun shone brightly down on the small town of Kakura illuminating a playground full of children laughing happily in a wide scale game of tag.

It was a rather depressing sight.

Not the children playing, but if you look half a block down and slightly to the left you'll see what appears to be the burnt out remains of an old hospital clinic, where the sunlight seems to have neglected.

Kakura town happended to be known as one of the most haunted places in Japan, and although this particular building looked like a prime haunting sight for the odd insane spectar, threre were none to be found on the premicis.

Unless of course you count the slumped slightly transparent figure dressed in black standing in the middle of what once may have been a kitchen or sitting room.

The figure sighed, forlorned, and the circle of un-sun-light swirled darkly.

The sound of cheery whistleing filled the otherwise silent lot.

The spector took no notice until the whistler was standing right beside him.

He looked up to discover that the cheery person, who had no right to be cheery in such an un-cheery and dark place, was a rather plane ditzy looking teenage girl.

The only thing that made her stand out from other ditzy teenage girls was the fact that she could apparently see our haunting pal, as her brown eyes hadn't left his own.

"You're Kurosaki Ichigo, right?"

The spectar's eyes widended marginally, but he nodded.

The girl squealed in joy, causing all the glassware within a mile radius to ring.

"OhmygoshIjustloveyousomuch!!!!You'resoawsomeandihatehoweveryone'sdead,butIhaveanideatofixitall,sodon'tworry!!!!!!"

The shinigami's eyebrows were threatening to dissapear into his orange hairline.

The fangirl took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Sorry about that, I just got carried away," she took another deep breath and cleared her throat.

"Let's start again, hi, my name's not important right now and I already know everything about you, so introductions are unnecessary. I'm here to offer you a proposition: how would you like to redo your life? Like travel back and fix it all?"

The ghost looked at her in a way that would have caused anyone else to repeat themselves, and finally finding that he had infact heard what he thought he heard he spoke.

"You're insane."

The girl nodded profusely, "That is probably true, but you havn't answered my question yet. Do you want to redo your life?"

The spectar shrugged, deciding to humor the crazy person for now (this inwardly made him cringe when he realized just how lonely he had been).

"Sure, who doesn't want a second chance?"

the girl smiled widely and brought her hands together in a loud resounding clap that echoed across the dreary landscape.

"Great!"

A portal of light appeared behind the ghost, who quickly found himself being booted into it.

It closed with a satisfied sizzle, that under the right circumstances could have been a bealch.

Still smirking the girl pulled out a cell phone, punched in some numbers and brought it to her ear.

"Hi, Kubo-san, it's me again. I just wanted to thank you again for letting me steal Ichigo for a bit. I hope this makes you realize that I am the better author suited to write Bleach."

"_Ha Ha, very funny. That money you promised better be in my bank account, and those pictures better be burned. I want the ashes mailed to me by Monday."_

"Already done and mailed. Pleasure doing business with you. Have a nice day!"

"_Ya, you too. Oh, and by the way you still don't own Bleach. Ja!"_

the dead sound of a phone being quickly hung up permiated the silence, until it was broken by an intense scream that had no top nor bottom.

Else where a carrot topped nine year old sat in the rain by a river.

He blinked slowly, first looking at his stubby hands and skinned knees, then up into the shielded sky.

"What the fuck just happended?"

+_+_+_+_+-

_next time: Ichigo decides that he wasn't smoking something funny, and decided what he will do to change the terrible future ahead of him._


	2. Chapter 2

+_+_+_+_+-----

Ichigo sat looking at the oddly familiar looking river, uncaring that the rain was soaking his hair and would inevitably give him a cold if he didn't get inside.

He mentally went over a checklist that he had been forming over the last half hour.

He was in a living body, even though his own had been killed in Aizen's raid of Kakura Town: Check.

This body was about nine or ten years old, and had startlingly orange hair that led Ichigo to surmise that it could have passed as him when he was young (he had yet to find a mirror and check this theory, as the rain made the river unsuitable for this task.): Check

The startlingly familiar river had finally revealed itself to be a river that Ichigo _knew_ had been filled in when he entered high school, (this particular river had unpleasant memories of his mother's murder for him) yet here it was with no apartment complex that had replaced it in sight: Check.

He was pretty sure that there weren't any narcotics that could affect a spirit (Renji would have told him, and if not him then Matsumoto at one of her bar parties) but just to be sure he mentally went over the schedule of his day that he remembered before finding himself by this river in the human body of a nine year old.

Let's see, five to eight watched sunrise and contemplated why the sunlight never seemed to come anywhere near his home, eight to three recounted once again how it was his fault that everyone died (though logically this was untrue, seriously who tells a teenager they need to single handedly save the world….oh right, me…), and then from three to six stare into the abyss and slowly slipped into madness…

Nope not smoking any thing, no spiritual trips, no weird Technicolor bike rides…..

Oh.

Wait.

Now he remembered.

That crazy girl kicked him in the head and he blacked out. The next thing he knew he was laying splayed in the mud, in the rain by a river.

What had she said? Something about changing the past? He chuckled darkly, but it came out too close too adorable for comfort.

Deciding that he wasn't going to get any answers sitting in the mud he wearily pulled himself to his feet and clumsily made his way to his home, trying to crush the bubble of hope that arose in his chest at what he might find there.

He kept passing buildings that he had seen destroyed himself and marveled at how untouched by war this place was.

He hesitated, hand clenched white knuckled on a fence wall, then took a deep breath and liked beyond it. Tears pricked his eyes when he saw the clinic intact. He stumbled past the road and fell onto the door hands fumbling for the knob. He forced his way inside and stood frozen in the doorway.

"Ichi-nii, why are you back from school so soon?" Yuzu's voice came from the kitchen, soon followed by the girl herself with Karin not far behind.

The tears Ichigo had been holding back spilt from his eyes as he enveloped his sisters in a hug, much to their surprise.

"I promise I'll protect you all this time!"

Karin gave him an odd look completely ruining the moment. "Ichi-nii are you feeling ok? You're acting like Goat-chin over there and we don't need two of him."

+_+_+_----

The orange haired boy laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling, a scowl smattered across his brows. It probably would have looked fierce if it wasn't on the face of a nine year old, so the effect was somewhat distorted in such a way that it just made you want to pinch his cheeks and squeal.

Well, he had hesitantly accepted that he was literally kicked into the past, and now was in deep contemplation about what exactly he should do with this ill prepared gift.

'First things first, ' he thought, 'I need to see if I still have my shinigami and hollow powers, but how?'

His frown deepened as he thought, then melted off his face like paint of a wall when the answer became clear.

A twisted look containing disgust, exasperation, and a healthy dose of annoyance formed as Ichigo said the one name that would either make his plan or somehow destroy in such a way to make it look like an accident.

"Urahara."

+_+_+_+_+---

Sorry, you don't see many bleach time travel fics, so I had to try my hand at one!

_Next time: "Kurosaki-chan does you're father know you're here?"_


End file.
